Eve

Lately I've been thinking about the difference between men and women.  I can't help but laugh when I over hear a conversation between my husband and one of his male friends.  They usually go something like this, "Your team sucked last night dude" "Screw you".  Now let me translate this into lady talk, "I'm so sorry your team lost last night.  Are you okay?  Need anything?" "You're the best!" followed by hugs and tears.  Maybe a little exaggeration but you get the idea.  Guys just say whatever is on their minds while women feel they have to empathize with one another. 

Another difference between men and women is how women over analyze almost everything.  We think way too much and it not only drives us crazy but our male counterparts as well.  Let me give you an example.  I'm a worrier (my poor hubby) and I'm a big planner too.  My husband is one the most easy going people I know.  I'm so grateful for that fact.  I feel that because we are polar opposites in this regard we balance each other very well.  He can chill me out when I'm too wound up and I can drive my husband to act when needed.  We just got done hosting our families for Easter dinner.  I planned and re-planned the menu and the logistics for the meal for weeks before the day of the event.  I went over the menu with my husband a couple times when I found my self stressing over one food choice or another.  My hubby's response was always indifference, at least with my ears.  My husband says I hear with my feelings, not my ears.  His response would be, "Sounds good babe" "Whatever you want babe" "I'm sure it will be great whatever you make"  Though I love the support, he's obviously not that invested in this meal as I am and that's fine.  Early in our marriage a situation like this might upset me.  I can picture the 21 year old me thinking, gosh why doesn't he care?  Is he mad at me?  What did I do wrong?  The answers to these questions I now know is; he's a man, no, and nothing.  Man, if I knew then what I know now. 

This is going to sound weird for those who know who I'm talking about, but Tom Leykis opened my womanly eyes to a great, dumb fact.  Ready?  Men can NOT read our minds.  It doesn't matter if you've been married 1 day or a million, 3 years or 75.  Ladies, men can NOT read your mind.  Never say to your husband, "You should just know".  Men don't just know.  They just don't.  They don't think like us and they can NOT read our minds.  Ladies, just tell your husband what you want.  Its that easy.  Tom Leykis was on a talk radio station when Jared and I were just married.  I started listening to him when we were dating not because I agreed with his philosophy or even liked him.  In fact I thought he was a jerk BUT he made a lot of good points about men and women and their relationships.  One day on my way home from work Tom told a caller this important fact.  Its so simple and I'm sure you're thinking "well duh lady, no one can read minds."  Remember that next time you and your significant other have a miscommunication that leads to an argument.

Women always ask more questions than men.  To drive home this point I'll go back to the beginning, Adam and Eve.  When Satan tempted Adam to partake of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil his answer was simple, no.  But when Eve was tempted her response wasn't so simple.  Eve wanted to know who the tempter was.  This lead to more questions.  Why would a brother of Eve tempt her to disobey their father?  Eventually Satan convinced Eve that the only way for her to know pleasure was to know pain, the only way to know happiness is to know sadness, the only way to know health is to know sickness, etc.  Eve would have to partake of the fruit.  Adam and Eve would have to leave the Garden of Eden to become mortal beings and be tested, like us, in order to reach their eternal potential.  This could not have been an easy decision for Eve.  Could you imagine the agony she had to be in?  I can't.  She knew that she wouldn't only be disappointing her companion, Adam, but her Heavenly Father as well.  It probably broke her heart to partake of the fruit and then have to go tell Adam what she had done and get him to eat the fruit as well.  I pray that I could be that brave.   Women have to make hard decisions that shape and effect their families everyday.  Its been this way since Eve.  Now I'm not saying that men don't also have to make hard decisions too.  Men sometimes have even harder, life changing decisions to make for their family.  I know from experience that the best decisions are made when a husband and a wife come together and talk, debate, and pray about what lies ahead and then make a decision together, hand and hand.  My husband and I strive to be an egalitarian couple.  We do follow a pretty traditional husband and wife role.  I stay home with our sons, manage the home, cook, and clean and my husband goes to work each day and supports our family financially.  And even though he makes the money he knows and values my role as a mother and homemaker.  And even though my job as a stay at home mother never ends I understand how hard my husband works to support our needs and wants.  Our roles are traditional but we know how important it is to respect one another and be a team.  We are the foundation of our family.  If we are not solid, our family is not solid.   

I pray that I can be more like Eve, seeing what needs to be done and doing it.  Having faith that everything will be as it should.  Trusting my instincts and making the hardest of decisions when needed.  As I grow older, life gets more difficult.  I know that if I continue to strive to be like Eve I will fare the storms ahead a lot easier.